Stalking your ex

Last week, my best friend *Sam got dumped rather savagely by her boyfriend. He’s a full on vain mirror selfie prick and after he found out we’d been stalking the Instagram page of his new squeeze (a downgrade imo. Eyes too close together), he accused us of being bunny boilers. We found this very insulting to the sisterhood. I mean, ok, I’ve looked at the … Continue reading Stalking your ex

Worn socks for sale, anyone?

The other day I was scrolling through e-bay in search of some seamless socks for my 5 year old. He’s been testing my patience lately by protesting daily that every single pair of socks he owns has a bump in the seam that’s invisible to my naked eye. It’s like ‘The Princess and the Pea’ (did she have sensory problems too?) but a male version … Continue reading Worn socks for sale, anyone?

One Hot Mama!

A couple of months back, I went to a Chilli Fiesta in town. Hubby loves chillis: I fell out with them last year after I applied something called Capsaicin cream (a herbal medicine extracted from chillis) to my skin after starting with flu and aching muscles. I’d figured some heat might help. Like a bath. Or a hot water bottle. Or some deep heat.  We … Continue reading One Hot Mama!

Roast Dinner Burger?

What do you think of this Roast Dinner Burger that a restaurant hotel is serving in Liverpool? Yum or Yuk?  I thought I’d try and make a DIY version for the kids: get some meat and veg, wedge it in-between two Yorkshire Puddings and pass it off as a burger. 5-a-day and all that. My version looked shit and the kids weren’t convinced. ‘That’s not … Continue reading Roast Dinner Burger?

Bum, underpants, trump, boobies.

Yesterday, I was in the kitchen when I overheard Child 1 say to Child 2- ‘Let’s bum each other!’ (Don’t be alarmed peeps, it’s a bum wrestling game they play. It’s taken on various names throughout the week –the bum game, the bumming game, bum bashing. I’ve suggested they just called it wrestling but they like the word bum. And any other rude word they … Continue reading Bum, underpants, trump, boobies.