Born in St Helens? Then you’re a….

a) Woolyback?
b) Sintelliner?
c) Person from Smellins?
d) All of the above

Personally, I’d opt for a and b. A wool with a very distinct Sintellins accent. St Helens ain’t smelly, really. At least not as smelly as our Widnes neighbours. (Just kidding Widdy).  And besides, Sintellins born peeps pop out into super clean hospitals, you know, with St Helens and Knowsley officially rated the best hospital trust in England in 2014 (Place), scoring 99.99 per cent for cleanliness. (And in 2016 – “St Helens hospital has been rated as one of the best NHS hospitals in the country. It’s become one of just three to be named ‘outstanding’ by the Care Quality Commission. The watchdog also named Whiston Hospital as Good with Outstanding Features.)

Justice for #Smellins.

best hospital

Most Sintellins peeps are born in ‘Whiston Ozzy’. Unless your mum had planned a homebirth. (Or not-  if your mum was the one that failed biology and went to the loo one night with trapped wind and ended up pushing out a sprog on the bathroom tiles).

After I was born, I actually claimed half a page in the St Helens Star because I was born with two front teeth and resembled a startled rabbit looked cute.
Doom mongers Well-wishers at the hospital imparted their knowledge of superstition upon my poor mother: babies born were teeth were once said to be vampires, don’t you know. Or at best, selfish, vicious beings that grew up to become become organised, non-social serial killers. Other, less harsh superstitions raised were that it meant my mother would soon become pregant again.
Or maybe someone just said that because mum’s from Parr. (Soz mum).

Anyway, here I am.  The wrong side of 30 and I haven’t killed anyone yet.

So. What do you call someone who comes from St Helens?

Be kind please folks x











*In this blog I have recreated some events and conversations from my memories of them. In order to maintain anonymity I have changed the names of individuals and places. I may have changed some identifying characteristics and details such as physical properties, occupations and places of residence. These posts contain some added fiction. Part/some of the posts are fictional, with names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents all being used in a fictitious manner.


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