Lockdown is over! Let’s get pissed in town…’, my friend Hayley will anounce to the girls over the house party app. ‘It’s been way too long’. ‘It’s been 84 years’, I will croon reminiscently, like old Rose from Titanic. Becky will refuse to go to Wetherspoons ‘cos – Tim Martin, innit – so we will land in Duke Street. I will turn up slightly merry … Continue reading THE PUBS ARE OPEN…IMAGINE THE SCENARIO…
There are times –desperate times, mind– when one becomes an adult but must return home to reside temprorarily at their parent’s abode; your family home. Mum was amidst one her regular cleaning frenzies when I stepped over a pile of shoes at the back door that resembled sandbags preventing a flood. Had she been expecting me and my tears? ‘Muuuuuum, I’m home!’ I bawled through … Continue reading Returning to your childhood home…
The year was 2007. I was beginning to think that I’d never meet a good looking, kind, nice, genuine, honest, trustworthy, funny man of my own. And then I got invited out by some work friends one night to Widnes. Now, I know what you’re thinking. Guys of such calibre are a rare find, and finding one in Widnes was unlikely, but miraculously, across the … Continue reading First dates: The one where I got locked up.
‘You won’t fucking believe it but I’ve just stalked Clive on facebook and he’s got another girlfriend already. It’s only been a week…’, my work pal Sarah confessed dramatically last night over a few wines and my mouth fell wide open. Did I just hear that right? Did she just say her ex fella was called fucking Clive? ‘You look surprised’, Sarah frowned, observing my…um..surprise. … Continue reading Stalking your first love
Tonight, I spent an hour at my friend Becky’s house in the company proximity of her teenage daughter and friends. They were in her bedroom, getting ready for her (the daughter’s) Halloween house party. Apparently, 12 girls were coming but literally everyone on insta wanted an invite. Her daughter was the most popular she had ever been. I had the misfortune of catching sight of … Continue reading The Halloween House Party
During the aftermath of my then boyfriend dumping me out of the blue, every single one of my friends got engaged, married or gave birth. In my first week of singledom-ness, I was telling my work colleague Jenny about my plans to visit New York (Number 1 on my singledom bucket list). ‘Oooohh, I just love..love…love New York’, Jenny squeeled at me. ‘You do?’ … Continue reading When all your friends are getting married….
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